NEED ADVICE. COMMENTS=HUGE UPDATE

SO A FEW WEEKS AGO I STARTED DATING THIS GUY I WORK WITH AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING REALLY REALLY GREAT.  AND THEN LIKE MAYBE 2 WEEKS AFTER WE STARTED DATING I WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE DINNER FOR HIM.  HE EVEN CAME UP TO ME THAT DAY AND ASKED IF I WAS MAKING DINNER BECAUSE I HAD TOLD HIM THE DAY BEFORE I COULDNT BECAUSE I HAD HOMEWORK. ANWAY LIKE 5 MINUTES BEFORE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OVER HE TEXTED ME SAYING SOMETHING CAME UP AND I LATER FOUND OUT THAT HE HAD SOME FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL OVER AT HIS PLACE AND HE HAD A PARTY THAT NIGHT INSTEAD.  I WAS MAD ABOUT IT BUT I ENDED UP FORGIVING HIM.  THEN HE STARTED TEXTING ME LESS AND WE SAW LESS OF EACHOTHER WHICH PISSED ME OFF SO I LET HIM KNOW THAT. THEN LIKE A COUPLE WEEKS AGO WAS MY ROOMMATES BIRTHDAY AND HE CAME OVER THAT DAY TO HANG OUT AND THEN HE CAME TO HER BIRTHDAY PARTY THAT NIGHT AND THEN WE ENDED UP SLEEPING TOGETHER. THEN I WENT LIKE A WEEK WITHOUT SEEING HIM EXCEPT AT WORK. AND HE DIDNT ACT LIKE ANYTHING WAS WRONG BUT IT ANNOYED ME THAT WE HADNT HUNG OUT SO THEN LAST WEEK AT WORK I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND HE WAS LIKE WELL COME OVER TO MY PLACE AFTER WORK. SO HE TEXTED ME AFTER HE GOT OFF WORK AND ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING AND I TOLD HIM AND THEN HE DIDNT TEXT ME BACK AFTER THAT. AND THAT IS LIKE THE MILLIONTH TIME HE HAS DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. I FINALLY TEXTED HIM AND SAID THAT I WAS PISSED AND HE SOULDNT MAKE PLANS WITH ME THEN BAIL.  THEN THE NEXT DAY AT WORK HE DIDNT TALK TO ME AT ALL. I EVEN TEXTED HIM SAYING WE NEEDED TO TALK AND HE NEVER CAME TO TALK TO ME. THEN THIS PAST FRIDAY I WAS AT A PARTY AND HE WAS THERE TO AND HE TOLD MY ROOMMATE HE WOULD TALK TO ME IF I BEAT HIM IN BEER PONG WELL THAT PISSED ME OFF SO I JUST MADE OUT WITH ANOTHER GUY IN FRONT OF HIM. AND WE WERE BOTH DRUNK AT THIS TIME BY THE WAY. 

I KNOW I SHOULD PROBABLY FORGET ABOUT HIM BUT I CANT. IM EVEN SEEING OTHER PEOPLE AND I STILL WISH I WAS WITH HIM.  I WORK WITH HIM MONDAY, TUESDAY AND THURSDAYS BUT I DONT REALLY SEE HIM ON TUESDAYS OR THURSDAYS BECAUSE WE WORK IN SEPERATE PLACES.  I WANT TO TALK TO  HIM BUT I WANT HIM TO TALK TO ME FIRST. ITS JUST FRUSTRATING BECAUSE IM WILLING TO FORGIVE HIM BUT I CANT DO THAT UNLESS HE TALKS TO ME.

I JUST NEED ADVICE

your smile is seriously the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. honestly, it can brighten up my whole day. just looking at your beautiful face makes me want to pull you into my arms and hold you there forever.

I need someone who can deal with me. I need a guy who will make me see things from a different point of view. I need a guy who will make me talk about things that scare me. I need a guy who will make me open up to him, a guy who won't give up on me.

he's the only guy to look past what others think of me.
to not care what im labelled as. to look deeper than the
nice clothes, makeup and hair. if youre going to mess
with that, then im not gonna sit back and let you. ill put
up a fight for him. hes the best thing thats ever happened to me.

he knew he made a mistake.
you could see it in his face.
every time she walked into the room,
he wished he hadn't done that to her.

& he whispers why are you so cute?
as my jeans come undone.

opportunity may only knock once,
but temptation leans on the doorbell.

I hope you hurt like hell one night soon, while your laying in
your bed all alone because your new girl wasn't all you thought she was.
I hope your thinking of me and all that you gave up when you pushed
me away like I'd never meant anything to you at all. I hope you realize
your mistake. I've given you all that I'm ever going to let you take.

Just stop, i cant do this anymore,
just rewind and take me back to
when were perfect for each other.

He kissed me.
He really put his arms around me, and kissed me.
It went through my body like it had flipped
some electrical switch, and lit me up.
His skin was so warm, and he suddenly
was so beautiful. And I finally realized
what all the hype was about.

When all is lost, the future still remains.

I've moved on, I've found someone else, I thought I was over you, but I guess I was wrong. I still have those same feelings, that I did when I was with you, but I'm trying to forget the past, and move on with the future. But somehow I can't, I don't know why. That feeling inside, it burns, hurts, almost kills me. I can't stand not to be with you. The pain; it hurts to have feelings anymore, but I have to forget it, cover up the pain and pretend I'm fine. Just let it go, and wait, til i can be with you again.

I just want to feel safe with someone…to not always be wondering how he feels about me, to not always be waiting for him to walk away, to not always wishing he would love me back. I need to be able to trust that a man is there for me for the right reasons, because he cares enough to be there.

I'm sick of meeting all the wrong people.
I'm sick of being lead on to believe it could
be right. I'm sick of being told "just friends."
I'm sick of people saying "It's going to happen."
I'm an impatient person and I want to know when.

I've never been one to complain about the little
things, but boy you're out of line. Either step up
your game or back down for good.

I'm the girl, the one who always loses. The one with the fake smile and the girl who seems so strong but continues to break. That girl who's always there and seems to have no problems of her own. The one who holds back tears until she's off the phone...that girl that is love with a guy who doesn't care at all.

you grab my attention when you walk into the room.
it would be midnight and i'm still thinking about you.
i cannot control the feelings you got me going through,
i want to be yours but that's up to you.

Just because I finally got over you,
doesn't mean there aren't days
when it all comes rushing back.

and as much as i'd like to say
i've never give him a second chance,
i know in my heart i'd give him
a million second chances.

sometimes i wish i could be like
the white crayon in the box.
that way no one would use me.

I'm not your ex-girlfriend, it's more like
i'm the best thing you ever let go.

Sometimes you just have to let them win, because losing the argument is easier than losing them.

i really think there's a reason that i like him so much.
like something's telling me not to let him go. everytime
i follow my heart, it leads to him. i mean, what other
explanation is there? why is it that no matter how
upset i am, i see him and can't help but smile? why is
it that when he smiles i get that feeling my stomach?
sometimes you just don't want to get near the person
you admire or desire because you're afraid to see
his imperfections, but you're more afraid that you've
fallen for him.

you confuse me like a gangster on a skateboard

your smile is seriously the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. honestly, it can brighten up my whole day. just looking at your beautiful face makes me want to pull you into my arms and hold you there forever.

He's the reason I'm messed up, the reason I can't get myself into another relationship. No matter how hard I try, no matter how bad I want to.. I'm scared. I'm not scared of getting hurt, I'm scared of hurting someone else. Because I could never love anyone, the way I loved him.

i've found that it's a good thing to go through heartache at one point or another in your lifetime. not the petty, childhood heartache. but the horrible kind we've experienced. but see, when you get to the healing part of this, you will have so much love to share with someone. you will be able to appreciate someone in ways even you cannot understand. you will be so much stronger than you were before. i know how much this sucks right now & i know it seems unfair, but when it's all said & done with, this will all makesense. all this pain you are going through at this moment will eventually teach you some of the greatest lessons in life you will ever need to  learn.

And it hurts me when you talk about her.
I bet she's more pretty and more fun than I am,
but I would appreciate it if you can just keep
that to yourself. I don't want to know.

When the world sighs, and silence remaines, 

I hear the echo of your voice and realize that I still miss you.

Sometimes, I hope we're still friends when I'm married.
I hope that I'll invite you to the wedding and you'll come.
You'll see me as the happiest girl in the world. You'll see me
with a guy that treats me right and loves me more than
himself.
You'll see all that you could have had and you'll regret letting me go.
But the thing I want you to see most is that I survived without you.

Better run for cover
You're a hurricane full of lies
And the way you're heading
No one's getting out alive

Sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes
Sometimes we've no choice but to walk away,
Tried to break my heart, Well it's broke
Tried to hang me high, Well I'm choked
Wanted rain on me, Well I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin

And its 2 am and im crying over you again.
When will this nightnare ever end?

Do you ever wish you could just freeze one second and put it into a box, and jump into it and stay there forever?
I do right now. In fact, I do every time I'm with you.

Clean up your act, your story's getting
dusty. wash your mouth out please,
your lies are getting rusty.

we never really move on,
all you can do is
find someone else to think about.